Friday, December 5, 2008
A lot of people have told me that I'm a natural born leader, I inspire a lot of people every single day to achieve their best, to become better and to be different (in a good way I assume). I've been doing this for hell too long, and I don't think (with maybe one exception) people know how exhausting it is, and how hard it is.
I've always thought people exist in a small frame of time, and even though you keep in touch, people move on, new friends are made, and everything happens again ad nauseum.
Ad Nauseum is just right, for those who don't know what ad nauseum is it means of doing something or saying something up to the point of nausea, as in, getting tired of doing the same thing.
I saw this, many, many years ago and while I enjoy somehow touching people's lives, I did think it was selfish for me to be the only one who can do this, to be someone with a great deal of empathy, understanding and reading of people. This is a nifty tool, in the 'hacking' business it's called "Social Engineering" and I practice it to the extreme with my so-called "Charisma mode" that I had to teach or pass this tool to someone else to take some burdens or finish my job.
I did find this perfect raw diamond, who didn't know his/her potential and how powerful he/she could become.
Today, that person finally realized what was a huge part of my objective with him/her: To continue to do what I do, now, that just like the guy from the photo, I'm out of the picture, no longer deliberately touching people or trying to make them fully realize their potential. I've been doing it for 10+ years and I'm tired of doing it to other people, it's time to do it to myself, the ultimate real leader knows when he/she leavesl people will continue to keep doing his work.
Hence my post down, saying "I know drive a single seat car", I'm no longer thinking how to improve other people or understanding them, now, I'm trying to improve myself.
Was I selfish in doing this?, maybe so, but what's the harm? he/she enjoys it I assume, and it's (I guess) for the greater good.
Was the price fair? he/she would not talk to me, probably ever again and while I find it a bit hurtful, I think he/she learnt a lot during our time and I guess that's enough for me. (not).
No lyrics, no music, it's all playing in my head.